Facebook Marketplace is one of those digital innovations that just makes sense. You need a chair, a microwave, a used treadmill you’ll pretend to use (like the one myself and my wife got but eventually gave to her sister), go there, message a seller, and pick it up. Or perhaps you’re the one looking to sell an item at a reduced price, choosing to give it a second life rather than send it to the landfill, Marketplace is your friend. What’s also interesting is how its popularity has grown over the years. I’ve met people who, just a couple of months/years ago, would never have dreamed of buying or selling anything through Facebook. “Too sketchy,” they would often say, or at times, “it’s too much of a risk.” But today, even those people are on it, buying and selling all sorts of things. The fear has definitely simmered down and people are beginning to trust it. Of course, to use Facebook Marketplace, you need a Facebook account. And that’s where my story starts. Drumroll…

My Facebook account has always been very… Nigerian. I’ve never uploaded a photo that reveals I live in the U.S., even though I’ve been here for a while now. Why? Well, that’s a conversation for another day. But because of this, I’ve always told my wife that whenever we’re looking to buy or sell something, I’d rather we use her Facebook profile. She’s African American, and her account is “American enough” with a solid history of activities. In 99% of cases, things just go smoothly for her. But when do I use mine? Well, let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of successes and misfits. Some people respond just fine. Others block me immediately. Some go completely silent after I message them. It seems like for some people, once they see my profile; my name, my photos, my unmistakably Nigerian presence, it automatically triggers suspicion, and that’s the part that gets me. I haven’t acted shady. I’m not giving off “scammer vibes.” I’m simply trying to buy a used item. So why is it that my profile, without me doing anything, already says to you: “This one can’t be trusted”?

This past weekend was particularly “pretty interesting.” My wife and I were trying to buy something off the Marketplace. I messaged a seller—respectfully, clearly—and let him know I was interested and could come pick it up right away if available. His response was “Now?” I said, “Yes.” He followed up with “Are you in Columbia, MO?” Then asked me to text his phone directly if I was “serious.” I was just completely taken aback and I laughed a little with a mixture of confusion. My response was: “Lol, of course I’m serious. I’m literally texting you. Why do you think I’m not?” Instead of answering, he sent his address and offered to meet at Sam’s Club if that was easier. I agreed and asked if he preferred cash or Venmo. His tone quickly shifted, again, questioning how soon I’d arrive, and why it was problematic to get cash. It’s like, I could just drive over and Zelle or Venmo you right now, but you want cash, so I’d need to find an ATM first. You were the one bothered about a quick pickup, and when I tried to communicate that, you responded with condescension. People can be so… funny!

Anyways I called out the passive aggression respectfully and eventually, I found another seller. I told them I was on my way to pick up the item after our exchanges and one of their later responses was, “Are you in the USA?” I was stunned and at the same time was like “not again.” I mean, I literally just said I’m on my way.  How could I not be in the USA if I’m driving to meet you? This kind of thing keeps happening and the question I ask is, if my profile wasn’t “Nigerian” if it featured a lighter-skinned complexion and/or a different racial background (e.g European), would you have even thought to question or bother if I was real or actually in the U.S.? The thing is, I’ve always believed in respectful communication and I do understand that people want to be cautious, it’s the internet, after all. And in fact, I do not fault anyone who chooses not to respond. But, there’s a difference between caution and prejudice disguised as caution. When someone hasn’t given you any reason to mistrust them, but you still assume the worst, in my opinion, you’re not being careful. You’re being biased.

And that, my friend, is… well, na so I see am.

Note: “Na so I see am” is a popular Nigerian Pidgin English expression that roughly translates to “That’s how I saw it,” or “That’s how it happened to me.” It’s often used to tell/end a story with a tone of resignation, irony, or quiet reflection. It’s a way of saying: I may not understand it all, but that’s the experience I had anyway.